It's the mothafuckin Wild Wild West in this bitch.

So check it,

This past weekend something happened and serves as the impetus to get this bloggy blog moving. I decided to go check out this haunted house at the Foothills Mall inside of what used to be a Linen's-n-Things. Quick shout out to the recession for creating such an abandoned building- I digress. So anywho, long story short, I took a tall can straight to the dome, got scurred, and then reclaimed my masculinity throwing axes. There was a hella foine lady in our group so I had to represent. Hella 6th grade right? And while I have a burgeoning crush on her, no I did not throw the axes at her face.

Ok but the real shizz that went down was at the Circle K by my house en route to said Haunted House. Riding with a friend who is highly skeptical about EVERYTHING, we pull into the station so I can get my fade and some Evian no homo. Dude stays in the car, "you aren't getting out?" I say to him. "Fuck no, I ain't trying to get shot in the back of the head! I know someone that died outside of a Circle K," he replies. Shaking my head I leave the car and walk in the gas station.

The man behind me had barely caught the door before it completely closed, and walked in a few paces behind me. He was wearing a fleece pullover, cargo pants, and military boots. Mind you it was like 80 degrees out so I was a tad suspect. In my complete observation of the strange fellow, I notice on his hip is a holstered handgun. I turn to my sister's boyfriend and say "Cool costume, that dude has a airsoft gun strapped to his hip, but I wonder what the costume is?"

"Matt that's not an airsoft gun, that's a 9mm. Lol... airsoft gun." He says.

Turns out homeskillet was in fact strapped- like Weezy strapped. The scary thing is he looked straight off the American History X set, and even more horrifying- he drove a PT Cruiser. I got back in the car and told holmes to peace the fuck outta that Circle K.

Lesson Learned: You can carry toast in public in AZ, and probably in like 45 other states in the country. I miss my home. It's the mothafuckin Wild Wild West in this bitch.

Theme music: Kool Moe Dee- Wild Wild West